post

Vodka with my Communist Breakfast

I flew to Prague last night on a whim en route to Kiev, Ukraine to explore another city and country over this long Memorial Day weekend, because, well, what the hell – vacaying in war-torn Ukraine for the weekend is normal, right?

As you know, long haul eastbound flights are almost always overnight, so we get served a decent dinner and a semi-decent breakfast on da plane. Well, I’m still ok on the same 6 rotating dinners, but I’m absolutely sick of airplane breakfasts. So on this trip I decided to skip breakfast on the plane and wait for the biz lounge in Prague to grab a bite on my layover for Warsaw. Bad idea.

The Czech Republic, or Czechia as they want us to call them now (and they think sounding more like Chechnya is going to be good for tourism?), is in the EU now, unlike the last time I was here. So that leads me to assume the biz class lounge in the Prague airport will be one of those nice international lounges with huge buffets, comfy seating, and stylish decor.

Holy shit was I off the mark! So, to drown my sorrows along with my toast with jam n’ foil (no bend-and-peel top so I’m sure I got foil bits in my jam now trying to poke and peel it open) and my soggy generic corn flakes-ish cereal, I’ve opted to go ahead and start drinking at 10am.

Ehh, it’s Europe. They do that, right? Better yet, it’s Eastern Europe, so even more so… maybe? Or is Czech… ahem, Czechia still considered Eastern Europe now that it’s in the EU?

Whatevs. Everywhere I go, revolution seems to follow. So maybe after I hit the Ukraine this evening Putin will just decide to take all of Eastern Europe back and it’ll be a moot point anyway.

At least the shitty breakfast they serve at the airport lounge here will already be considered up to standard for the new USSR. And drinking with breakfast will be even more acceptable to the Russians.

Cheers to that, comrade.